Today, my life changes.
I struggle to find the next words, even though I know what I want to say because this is hard for me.
The other day I looked in the mirror and I didn’t like what was looking back. I could make every excuse for putting on weight. I’ve made every excuse. That is, when I would even acknowledge it.
I have become lazy and depressed. And it’s a vicious cycle because it is one for the other and the other way around. The more depressed I become, the lazier I become. The more I just want to hide behind my computer screen, my children, my job, my excuses.
Food has become a comfort, an entitlement, something I can control. Food has become the only constant in my life. The thing I can count on. When my life is chaos and confusion, food is there. Food has never let me down. And if I want it, I should have it, I mean, why not?
As I read, ‘Little Changes’ these past few days the author brought up a point I hadn’t thought about. Treats, like candy or a soda, were no longer treats, but they were what people ate and snacked on, it was always in the cupboards. There’s nothing wrong with treats when they are just that. When you enjoy a nice piece of cake on a special occasion. Not everyday. Not every week. Look forward to it. Enjoy it. And appreciate it.
I no longer appreciate food. I expect it.
I know I’ve got a long road ahead of me. I’ve said it before. I’ve made a declaration to get fit and then a few months into it, I get lazy. Well, something has to change. I want to like what I see again.
I want to make better choices. I want to think more about what’s on my plate and where it came from. I want to become more active. I’m not putting a number on it. I’m not setting goals that if I don’t meet will upset me and send me into a downward spiral. I am taking it one step at a time. I am making little changes.
So please feel free to hold me accountable. If you have some great recipes, send them this way! If you have some nice words of encouragement or any advice to help me get through the hard days, my ears are wide open. If you could just pray for me, that’d be great too. Or if you’d like to join me, we could do this together.
Oh and I do have one goal. By next Thanksgiving I would like to run my first marathon. Like I said, long road ahead of me, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t excited for the challenge.